1) FRIENDS TELL US WHAT WE WANT TO HEAR
The issue between us was very clear, and we each took a side. To be sure I wasn’t crazy I asked some of my closest friends what they thought of the situation, and each 100% agreed with my stance. During our argument, this person said that her circle of friends had completely agreed with her.
In this moment a revelation came: friends, for the most part, simply tell you what you want to hear. I’m guilty of it, I can pretty much argue any side of any point, and that usually lands on my friend’s side. That’s both awesome and not. I think that I want the truth and only the truth, but this led me to my second revelation…
2) THERE IS NO TRUTH.
They’re all truths, just approached from differing perspectives. This woman kept saying that I’d broken a girl code, which was beyond ironic, because I’d accused another woman recently of breaking what I thought was girl code (of course! The Universe can be so literal.) This was not A girl code, this was HER girl code (and MINE respectively). Our codes of conduct were entirely different. We assume that our feelings and understanding towards things are universal, BUT THEY’RE NOT. Rather, it's a combination of our upbringing, parents views projected upon us, life experiences to date, views of those around us, and the media we take in, that shapes what we deem as right and wrong.
Ultimately, this friendship was ready to pass, but from it deep lessons shaped within me. In your next disagreement, try and find the next step begging to be applied to your life-- it will help ease the pain when the relationship shifts or expires.